Monthly Archives: September 2017

“Focus on what you have rather than what is lacking”

A few days ago it was my birthday. I got a lot of caring messages and lovely wishes from my family, friends and Twitterfriends, but I didn’t get the one I was most eager for.

“He’s busy” I told myself reading his posts.

“It’s not the right day yet there” I illuded myself with time zones.

“He’s still busy” I lied to myself.

Then the day, here and there, ended and my birthday wish expired. I’ve been in a bad mood the whole day: I saw the messages coming, but I was only able to focus on the missing one.

The funny fact is that I perfectly knew that it was wrong and I had a very short list of tricks to use to change my mood, three simple but effective points:

-Focus on what you have, be grateful and make the best with it.

-Try to see the whole picture and enjoy it, instead of noticing missing pieces.

-Remember that focusing on what you don’t or even can’t have, makes you angry and bitter and you don’t need any further negativity in your life.

The truth is that, like Alice in Wonderland, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. So at the end of the day, I bitterly concluded that it’s very hard to keep alive the thought of us in the others since it’s even so hard keeping ourselves alive!

TRACK OF THE DAY: Remember me – Gavin James

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

“When it rains, look for rainbows; when it’s dark, look for stars”

Many negative things happened. Climate disasters and war threatens, my city affected by a flood that caused nine deaths and an incalculable amount of damages and, of course, personal problems. I’m at one point that even the sudden death of both the heathen and the wash machine, becomes the stick that broke the back of the camel, where the camel is my depressed self.

Let’s be honest: popular, inspiring quotes, like the one I wrote as a title, are useful until one point. If something bad happens, it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge that it’s a negative thing and to feel sad about it. No shame if you can’t see the bright side every time.

It is also said that attitude is everything and that’s could be true in some ways (I’m witnessing the amazing recover of a friend of mine who defeated tongue cancer and despite a long and complex surgery, she’s back to her normal life). Sometimes a positive attitude, looking for the good in every situation or being a fighter, is not enough, because there are things that are out of our control. I’m learning not to stress over them too much, but it’s very hard.

And here it comes my personal contribution to this topic: if it’s true that it isn’t the load that’s going to break us down, but it’s how we carry that load that is most important, I want to add that it’s even more important WHO helps you to carry that load.

Surround yourself by people who believe what you say, who are able to put themselves in your shoes, who are supportive without being too indulgent, who can give you a shook without being rude. As I said many times, I’m lucky to have it all. My lovely, precious friend from the other side of the pond, proposed me a different kind of the gad game: every day I must send him a picture or telling him something that made me happy or just made me smile. Some days it’s hard, but so far I’ve always completed my task even if the temptation to use JD screens is often there. Is it a fault that he plays a big part of my happiness?

TRACK OF THE DAY: Shake it out – Florence + The Machine

 

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them” H.D.Thoureau

This post has been inspired by a thought of a friend of mine about children who are not encouraged in pursuing a career in the arts because arts don’t play the bills. She was fond of music, but she preferred following her parent’s advice, so she studied, had a brilliant career and now she works for a corporate that, according to her, pays her bills, but  doesn’t fulfill her heart.

Yes, parents must teach their kids to stay grounded, because not always dreams and hobbies are enough to pay our bills, but they also should encourage them to find what passion stir their soul and pursue it. And they also have to pay attention not to project their failed dreams onto their kids: there’s nothing worse than a pushy parent.

On the other hand, they shouldn’t force their children to do every sport, take music, lessons, attend art or theatre classes. That’s too much. You don’t know what your kid wants, let them choose, let them free of change their minds endless times, but always be there to support them and to help them to react to failure.

For us it’s the same: even if we are adult, we don’t have to live our lives according to other people’s expectations or social conformance (“you’re a mum, you can do/act/dress like that” for example). I broke up with a group of good friends because they only saw me tied to my role, they found weird any passion and were supportive only about home/family related stuff.

Don’t be like that, never let your brain idle and learn more about anything you may like. Be passionate about something and don’t be tired to show it off even if “society” doesn’t approve. Life is too short to be anything but happy: we are all special in this world and nobody shouldn’t die with some music still in them.

TRACK OF THE DAY: Dreams – The Cranberries